The common place in a relationship is that the coronavirus lockdown has ushered in a syndication of grief for many due to the dramatic changes to our daily lives. Meanwhile, our defensive means of survival — hanging out with friends, shopping and spending, exercising at the gym — have been snatched away from us.
The lockdown has led to changes in the bonding level as well as the relationship roles. Perhaps one partner has out of the blue become the primary care assistant for the children from home to school and another has become the sole wage earner because their partner is redundant. Conflict can surface or intensify when couples don’t have control over their mutual correspondence and compatibility.
How do these issues affect couples in this lockdown period?
Couples who live apart in different places independently have perhaps been in a better position to manage social distancing because their relationship, in terms of the responsibilities and the amount of time they meet, hasn’t considerably changed as much as the couples who see each other all the time. The couples living apart already have some strategies, tactics and negotiation techniques prepared to handle and supervise the same.
Long-distance couples don’t have the opportunity to perhaps rely on each other or develop a tactile sensation that couples who live together do. Couples should know about co-regulation and mindfulness. There are ways that your partner physiologically reads your inner emotions and their body physiologically addresses to you.
What are some strategies couples can use to assuages conflicts during self-isolation?
The foremost thing you have to do is to identify whether your problem is at high risk in present or not. The second thing we have to work on is anxiety abatement. This is about your individual restlessness and thinking. Instead of just outrunning that, feel and accept it. Understand that this sense of tenseness has an impact on your interaction with people. It’s also essential to notice if one partner wants more attention during this exhausting and tough time. Try and create intimacy and improve communication. Concerning the improvement of sexual connection, instead of expecting super huge moments, take that interaction down to something soft and subdued throughout the day. Just take long walks holding hands or sitting next to each other the entire day. Capture some non-working time to spend with each other, even if that just means spending an hour watching a movie or listening to music. It’s a constant physical connection rather than emphasising on bigger moments.
Above all else try to be tolerant, benevolent and kind to each other during this extremely crucial time. It’s easy to burst out our anguish and frustrations on the people very dear to us, and even easier when you’re confined together in close quarters for long duration of time. By taking a while and following steps to invest in your emotional health and comfort, both as individuals as well as a couple, you can ride out this storm together.