A number of my colleagues are always complaining about how single they are and how they are destined to die this way. But the thing that perplexes me the most is that they do have options/ suitors and yet they choose to stay single by pushing them away before anything can happen because unfortunately, no one is good enough for them and thus, they claim they are “forever single” type. I mean it’s okay to have high standards or be picky about the guy you date but being too picky or having standards as high as “Burj khalifa” doesn’t make any sense to me.
Actually, if you observe this whole situation you might realise it’s not really their fault indeed it is these Hollywood rom-coms that have given birth to unrealistic standards. For a matter of fact, even I had this crazy notion about love and finding my dream boy but luckily soon after the reality hit me and I realised reality doesn’t work as movies. However, It wasn’t until I became a part of Spouslr community that I realised how can I expect my other half to be perfect when I am not even perfect myself and trust me when I say Spouslr is the best online dating app for single Muslims. So if you are a Muslim and looking for your Mr./Ms. Right, Spouslr online dating platform will be your best friend in helping you find your “the one and only” plus it saves you from Rishta Aunties.
Anyway, I’ll give you a little cheat code to a happy life, cut yourself some slack because it might be your own expectation that is sabotaging your love life. Following are some of the ways to avoid the trap of self-sabotage, and to ultimately bring you closer to a happy and loving relationship you deserve.
View your Relationship as Partnership
Are you and your partner on the same team?
You need to figure out how to collaborate with your partner, and how, even, to be vulnerable together. You need to stop thinking about yourself and what you’re gaining or losing in your relationship, and instead, you need to start thinking about what you have to offer. Adopting this attitude can make you more excited about the future you’re both building, rather than seeing your relationship as something that is happening to you beyond your control and likely to end in heartbreak.
Be Mindful of your Behaviour
Insecurities in a relationship are inevitable because everybody has issues to work on. However, It’s critical to know what your insecurities are. Awareness comes with behaviour. If you frequently pick fights with your partner or start blaming them instantly, awareness has been lost. Both people have a role in the conflict, so it’s important to be aware of how much of it is your fault.
Learn to Communicate
Being able to speak out your heart with your partner and listening to what they have to say is equally important in a relationship. Just a communication can help you overcome your differences and in fact, a good communication lets you embrace your differences together as a power couple. All relationships have its own limitations and a well-defined communication made upfront offers an understanding that we are dedicated to each other beyond the adversities that are bound to occur.
Self Care and Self Compassion
As most of us already know, without loving yourself first you cannot truly love another — at least not in the way that leads to healthy, loving relationships. Cultivating self-compassion is essential for those who struggle with low self-esteem, especially when this manifests in relationships. The only way to move closer to lasting and fulfilling love is by self-acceptance and healing from past hurts.
Love will never be easy, but without self-sabotage, it is a lot more reachable.