Why love is pain: How to get over a relationship?

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Relationships have become an integral part of our lives now. To be honest, it’s the most liberating feeling in the world to find a person who’s just right for you. But sometimes things just don’t seem to work out and the worst possible outcomes reveal themself.

Yes, the process of falling in love is beautiful and that’s the phase in a relationship when you’re sensitive to feeling all sorts of emotions. Everything around and between you two seems to hold some intoxicating magic. Nothing but your other half’s company is needed by you. But, that also means, the process of breaking up with them is hard and it hurts like hell. All the beautiful memories, the moments which you both seemed to have created seem to be delusional and hold no meaning. You are blinded to all your faults but their actions. Ego issues come to rise and everything quite literally becomes a mess including you.

The worst part is to see them move on easily. It makes you question if the beautiful thing which you both had was even real. The reason being, you are constantly haunted by their memories. The “moving-on phase” is the hardest and makes you experience some great deal of emotional breakdowns. No idea about love being a boon or bane but it brings pain.

Lack of compatibility, misunderstandings, miscommunications, jealousy, insecurity, loss of trust, your partner’s shortcomings, mistreatment, and loss of feelings are some of the root reasons why people end a relationship.

The most challenging part being able to move on, to get over your ex. Quite frankly, it depends upon the bond which you both must have shared or how much you invested yourself in the relationship. More investment meaning immense damage and vice-versa. That lingering feeling of longing for them is just hard to get over and can’t be simply ignored. Various mental issues arise and a lack of mental peace and stability is experienced.

But, you gotta do what you gotta do i.e., move on. It’s not easy but it gets easier with time. So, here we are with some tips on how to get over a relationship.

  • Self-reliance: You don’t always have to depend on a person for your emotional support. Moreover, it can never be for sure that the one(s) you love will be there for you in the toughest of your times. Self-reliance is what you need to become. Focus on yourself, develop your strengths and work on your mental and emotional stability instead of grieving. You’re more than what you think of yourself and you’re much more capable than what people make you think of yourself. That’ll be more than enough for you.
  • Talk to Someone: Keeping your feelings, emotions and all that aggression to yourself would be just punishing yourself. Let them out for good. Free them up and decongest yourself. Those things are quite intoxicating and end up being the root reason for your mental and emotional instability. Therefore, share them with someone with whom you feel comfortable. It doesn’t necessarily need to be a friend. People are not that bad when talked to. Of course, it won’t completely heal you but, yes, you’ll be comforted. Also, avoid being antisocial. That will have a reverse reaction and you’ll end up becoming sadder than you were.
  • Keep yourself busy: Sometimes, distractions are not so bad. They’re helpful. Keep yourself busy as a distraction to your sadness. It’ll be hard initially and you’ll find your brain wandering for the unwanted, but trust me, it gets better. Start working hard for your studies, start building up on your weaknesses, make your strengths even better, start playing a sport, start working out or develop a hobby. It could be anything and everything that takes you to focus on yourself.
  • Socialize yourself: One thing that most people fail to realize is that being antisocial after a breakup is a combo attack that should be avoided at all costs. You never know how and when you come across the right people or the right one for that matter of fact. Some right people do come at the right time and you hold the power to let them in. So, why stop something good from coming your way?

These were some insights out of quite some experience in the very domain. Hope they help you and you find your way out of oblivion. To get over someone makes you realize your worth and let me tell to you, you’re worth it and you deserve much more than you believe. Trust the process.

When is the right time to get intimate with your partner?

How does the coronavirus effects couple and their relationships

Often people confuse intimacy with sexual intercourse which is totally inappropriate. Intimacy is not necessarily a synonym for the physical closeness or the romance between two people. It is surely above it.

Intimacy is how close you can be with someone on emotional levels. It is a bond you share with another person that you both cherish a lot. It can be with anyone, a friend, family member, or a special loved one. If you can talk non stop without the fear of being judged with someone, you can call it intimacy. If you feel safe and comfortable with someone, that is definitely intimacy. If you can share your thoughts, emotions and your darkest feelings with someone trustfully and with easy, it is intimacy.

Intimacy plays an important role in a relationship. It intensifies the love two people share by strengthening the bond between them. It brings two people so close that the connection they share is unbreakable and rare. It builds an attachment that helps them to grow together, emotionally as well as physically. It makes them care about each other more and in a way appreciate each other’s existence in their lives.

As far as love life is concerned, intimacy can be classified into two categories: emotional and physical. Both of these are of immense importance as they help in developing compassion, affection and trust.

Emotional intimacy is basically a faithful feeling your partner has for you. It is difficult to gain that much amount of trust from one to be become emotionally intimate. What is the right time to be emotionally intimate with your partner?

Emotional intimacy is rare to achieve in the early stages of a relationship. It is a long process that requires patience and stability. When you have spent a certain amount of time with your partner and are familiar with general parts of your life, you accomplish the first stage. When you feel your partner is more interested in having conversations about past, family or something personal, it is kind of benchmark that you have gained. It is then when both of you are willingly able to get intimate with each other and trust me that is the most rare and beautiful feeling ever. It portrays that both of you have equal faith in each other and are ready to understand, support and trust each other completely.

Physical intimacy on the other hand is not as difficult to achieve as emotional intimacy. After your partner completely trusts you, it is time you can initiate the romantic closeness between the two of you. It will not only remove the gap but also enhance your relationship in a heartwarming manner. Do not forget to keep a check on the fact that initiate the physical intimacy only if your partner feels more than comfortable and safe with you.

Intimacy is the backbone of a relationship and accomplishing it is a deep soulful achievement in itself!

How to deal with relationship fights?

deal with relationship fights

Relationships are like an unending support from the person you love the most. It makes you feel alive and helps you in getting through any hurdle or obstacle easily. It is a connection where without even uttering a single word, you manage to interpret everything. You have that one partner who understands you no matter what and manages to make you smile at your lowest moments. That unbreakable bond is always by your side to make sure that you are doing fine and keeping well.


But at times, this bond which is your life saver needs a life saver itself. There are times when you have to face some hardships in your relationship with your partner. For a while, things do not flow in your favourable direction. Certain moments make it difficult for you to be understanding and supportive. Your relationship encounters dull and low phases where you and your partner indulge into fights and arguments leading to chaos, muddle and mess.


At this point, it is essential to keep hold on things very wisely. This will be the lasting test of your relationship. The way you handle this phase will decide whether your relationship can overcome these hardships or not. It can either be a breaking point or making point for your relationship.


Now the question arises: How to deal with these hardships so as to get past them?


Firstly, calm down and identify the origin of the problem. Instead of discussing stupid stuff and extending the fight try to focus on what the problem is and how did it begin.

Playing blame games with each other is a waste. Try to accept that there is a fifty percent chance that you might be at fault. Even if you are not, do not directly blame it on your partner. Try to make him or her understand with patience.

Communication in such situations can do wonders. People who openly communicate their feelings during hard times go a long way together. So, try to exchange healthy conversations with your partner and figure out the solution.

Do not involve a third party. Relationship is between two people only. The interference of a third person can spoil things very badly. Whatever the reason is, it is always advised to keep the fight and argument between the two partners. There is no such third person who will be able to understand or support you other than your own partner.

Always forgive and apologise to each other after solving the issue. Take out some time for each other and hang out in a happy place. Spending time together will make you forget the past arguments and make your bond even more strong.

Relationships are not easy to handle but are definitely worth the hardships. No matter how much you fight or how many hurdles you have to cross, in the end you know that your partner is the one you want be with for the rest of your life!

Is love at first sight real?

Is love at first sight real

Love in its own mysterious way crosses your path and changes every bit of you. It is known to be a pious feeling that relishes your soul in a way that no one can ever understand. Some people say that being in love is the most beautiful feeling ever and when one encounters this amazing experience, they embark a journey of compassion, affection and soul stirring emotions. It is capable of healing all wounds, complete the incompleteness of life and fill in happiness in your empty heart. It touches you wonderfully and allows you to look at yourself in a different and heartful way.

But can love happen instantly? Can you see some one and fall for them right away? Is it possible to fall head over heels in love at first sight?

Well, of course yes! Love is more of a connection you feel with your partner. It is an unbreakable bond that one cherishes from the bottom of their heart. It is very well possible that you feel this type of connection and bond with someone you have just met. The moment you see them, you know he or she is the one. The one you want to love forever. The one you want to stay still with all your life. The one you will keep on choosing till death aparts you. The one you will hold on to for the rest of your life.

Love at first sight is more of a dreamy fairy tale with virtual music background and aesthetic surroundings. It is like two people meeting amidst a terrific situation causing goosebumps all over the body. Your eyes meet, hearts shine and an electric spark runs down your body. It is an electrifying experience and in a couple of seconds you feel so connected and attached to your partner that just one glimpse of theirs makes you go crazy. Love at first sight is something that is unforgettable and absolutely breath taking.

Love at first sight is not always a mutual feeling. You are extremely lucky if both of you feel the same way about each other as in most cases this happens only to one partner. But it is possible that these one-sided feelings can eventually lead to a healthy and romantic relationship as the other partner will start adoring those feelings.

Love at first sight is more likely to happen with strangers. It happens most of the time with men. This alluring phenomenon has a greater chance to happen for people with charming and beautiful personalities. This feeling probably arises due to an appealing physical attraction towards your partner and then gradually makes you admire and appreciate every bit of them.

If you ever get a chance to be blessed with this natural yet absolutely magical feeling, then embrace it with all your heart. It is something very rare to experience and only a few people in this world can accomplish an amazing relationship out of this!

How to balance love and career?

love and career

The two most important things in one’s life is Love and Career. One feeds the soul and the other feeds the stomach. But the main question arises: Which one is more important? To whom we should dedicate more of our time? Which one is worth the most attention in our lives?

The answer to this is BALANCE. Both these things will run on the right track only if we give equal time and attention. Love and Career demand a balance in life in order to work out every aspect smoothly and happily.

Carrying out this essential task is not as simple as it sounds. There are complications and times when things do not go the way we actually want them to. At times there are hard times in your work or career life and because of that it is difficult to concentrate more on your partner. Similarly, there may be some hardships or intricacies in your relationship which affects your working schedule and performance.

In order to overcome these problems and hurdles one must know how to balance things in their love life and work life. With great experience in this field, I have mentioned below the ways in which you can create an equilibrium between the two most essential parts of your life.

First and foremost, it is of immense concern to encourage communication even if both of you are busy with your daily routines. Communication is the key to a flourishing relationship. If you are in a habit of sharing your problems with your partner, then figuring out a solution for the same becomes a lot easier.

It is advised to spend time with each other despite the busy working schedules. If you are occupied with work, talk it down with your partner and carve out a mutual free time to stay with each other and have a good time.

Try to accept that sacrifices and compromises are a part of relationships. At times work requires more focus, thus you have to cancel dates, avoid lovely conversations, stay up late at night. Thus, you have to make a compromise from your love life for your work. Similarly, at times your partner needs you more than your work. If he or she is sick, going through a mental trauma or is expecting you to be there for them, then you should sacrifice your work stuff in order to concentrate on your partner. It works both ways and you have to analyse the importance according to the demand of the situation.

Showing unconditional support towards your partner, their emotions and work is something that every relationship demands. Every one requires appreciation and a sense of understanding for their feelings and situations that are not in control. Last but not the least, forgiveness and the initiation to apologise for mistakes and things that were done in appropriately does wonders in a relationship.

Trust my advice and experience a healthful and blooming relationship with your partner.

How does the coronavirus effects couple and their relationships?

How does the coronavirus effects couple and their relationships

The common place in a relationship is that the coronavirus lockdown has ushered in a syndication of grief for many due to the dramatic changes to our daily lives. Meanwhile, our defensive means of survival — hanging out with friends, shopping and spending, exercising at the gym — have been snatched away from us.

The lockdown has led to changes in the bonding level as well as the relationship roles. Perhaps one partner has out of the blue become the primary care assistant for the children from home to school and another has become the sole wage earner because their partner is redundant. Conflict can surface or intensify when couples don’t have control over their mutual correspondence and compatibility.

How do these issues affect couples in this lockdown period?

Couples who live apart in different places independently have perhaps been in a better position to manage social distancing because their relationship, in terms of the responsibilities and the amount of time they meet, hasn’t considerably changed as much as the couples who see each other all the time. The couples living apart already have some strategies, tactics and negotiation techniques prepared to handle and supervise the same.

Long-distance couples don’t have the opportunity to perhaps rely on each other or develop a tactile sensation that couples who live together do. Couples should know about co-regulation and mindfulness. There are ways that your partner physiologically reads your inner emotions and their body physiologically addresses to you.

What are some strategies couples can use to assuages conflicts during self-isolation? 

The foremost thing you have to do is to identify whether your problem is at high risk in present or not. The second thing we have to work on is anxiety abatement. This is about your individual restlessness and thinking. Instead of just outrunning that, feel and accept it. Understand that this sense of tenseness has an impact on your interaction with people. It’s also essential to notice if one partner wants more attention during this exhausting and tough time. Try and create intimacy and improve communication. Concerning the improvement of sexual connection, instead of expecting super huge moments, take that interaction down to something soft and subdued throughout the day. Just take long walks holding hands or sitting next to each other the entire day. Capture some non-working time to spend with each other, even if that just means spending an hour watching a movie or listening to music. It’s a constant physical connection rather than emphasising on bigger moments.

Above all else try to be tolerant, benevolent and kind to each other during this extremely crucial time. It’s easy to burst out our anguish and frustrations on the people very dear to us, and even easier when you’re confined together in close quarters for long duration of time. By taking a while and following steps to invest in your emotional health and comfort, both as individuals as well as a couple, you can ride out this storm together.

Every relationship navigates through these 4 stages.

romantic dating and relationships

When it comes to romantic dating and relationships, there are no lectures or theories. While some couples follow these traditional old steps, many people do not. Fewer couples are getting married, some are conceiving children before marriage, and some are not even concerned about these things. Every bond is unique in its self.

Here in this article, we will be breaking the norms set by society and discuss how cute can the love be when it’s genuine. The five cute stages of relationship that will cross your path when you are dating anyone or thinking to date.

So, Let’s start on this.

1. The Euphoric Stage

This is the head over heels falling in love stage where a stranger is the center of your life. You tend to forgive anything in these early stages. Your partner has faults, and you see through them, however, it doesn’t matter. Maybe they leave their dirty dishes in the sink, but they enlighten your mood at least daily, so it’s balanced. Good things make you neglect the negative here. In this early stage, many people show a decrease in activity in the prefrontal cortex, a part of the brain, that responds to the negative judgment of people.

2. The Early Attachment Stage

In this next stage, the more advanced part of the brain begins to catch up, including the ventral pallidum (the part of the brain connected with emotions of attachment, and the attachment hormones, vasopressin, and oxytocin—sometimes better known as “the love hormone”).

You know when you’ve reached the early attachment stage when you cannot sleep! You’re thinking 24 hours a day about your partner. It’s not easy to do other things in your life. Couples that have been married for at least one year described love differently. Memories have integrated both positive and negative things one has gone through some difficulties and develops a strong attachment.

3. The Crisis Stage

The third stage is often the most critical point for relationships. What happens at this stage is crucial to what is coming further. Every relationship has a drifting apart phase. Either you will keep on drifting, or you will come to bounce back together. You need a crisis to get through and to be able to talk about it deeply together.

For some couples, having children can at times solidify the relationship but can also cause enough stress to make the relationship move apart. If a couple can overcome a crisis, they will lead ahead in the next stage: deep attachment.

4. The Deep Attachment Stage

The deep attachment stage is the peaceful calm after the rainy and windy storm. By this point, a couple knows each other’s titbits well, they’ve been through each other’s ups and downs, they know that they can deal with crises, and they’ve likely made strategies for handling future crises. This stage is extremely calm and secure. The deep attachment stage can go on for a very long duration. If you’re lucky enough, it can last a lifetime for you.

Go with the flow

How can we keep love consistent? One of the most efficacious ways of keeping the spark alive is a novelty. Studies have found that doing thrilling, new, exciting, and challenging activities together have huge benefits for relationships and assist in sticking together forever.

With this we are signing off from this article. We advise you to read these 5 Tips that can help your relationship grow to next level.

3 Stages of a New Relationship and How to Handle the Changes

New Relationship

These days dating is in trend. Hollywood commercials have made it so popular, that people are imposed to date each other. But, with time the madness in love vanishes and you start getting a real taste of it. So, this article talks about those stages in a new relationship and how to go through these changes.

First Stage: New Relationship Bliss

The first stage in almost all new relationships is perfect bliss! You easily communicate with each other constantly. There are no triggers that take place to upset you and the attraction is terrific.

We pour in equal efforts to get to know one another have patience, understanding, and joy in getting to know other person’s quirks, thoughts, and patterns.

This first stage sets a base for the relationship and builds a connection.

But it seems like it won’t last much. Though it can feel like this, it only means that your relationship is changing, and that’s okay. It’s completely natural, and this process of evolving is what takes you into even a deeper connection if both partners are willing to go there.

Second Stage: The Unavoidable Drift (When One Person’s Fear Pops Up)

So, what exactly is happening when the fearsome, unavoidable “shift” happens? You feel like the other person is either walking apart or becoming more controlling and we feel like we are becoming distant from each other.

There’s a big drift when our comfort level gradually establishes in a relationship and we let our guard down a bit. This is the perfect time for our fear to kick in. You no longer felt emotionally stable, relaxed, or happy.

we aren’t even aware of what’s happening; we just observe we feel differently. Our past fears, sufferings, and childhood bandages have surfaced for more healing, and if we don’t realize this, our new, wonderful, blissful relationship begins to feel just like the rest of them: disheartening, toxic, abandoning, obstructive, unreliable, and unloving.

Third Stage: Communicating the Fear

This can be difficult if we aren’t aware of what is going on, but let that change, that first feeling of doubt be your indication that fear has entered the relationship. And realize that it’s alright for it to be there!

The fear is there as a signal. It’s asking to be attuned to and it is a gift necessary for our development When we share our fear, we embrace it, and it does not mean blaming the other person. We don’t share our fears to change our partner or to have them heal us, but just to allow our hearts to communicate deeply.

The best part is that we get to see how the other persons handle this. Our relationships need this stage and this transformation from the easy, wonderful bliss because, without it, our bonds will never deepen.

It’s never too early to initiate the sharing of fears. If we wait for the problem to just boo away, we are keeping the cycle of anxiety, doubt, and tension going, because our energy reflects our interest in the relationship.

Stay connected to yourself and speak your truth—the whole, messy, superb truth. Let your partner see the entire you, quirks and everyone, and revel in taking your walls down along, brick by brick.

Hope these tips will help you in having an ever-lasting relationship.

Why your relationship should vibe like moonlight?

relationship should vibe like moonlight

Do your friendships and other relationships feel like a blessing of the moonlight?

There’s nothing better than sleeping under the moonlight peeking through your bedroom window. It’s a blissful reminder that all stress has gone with a passing day, and now it is you and your bed. As the day is pushed away by the darkness of night, you realize that you have a chance to relive your life again.

Have you ever considered that your relationships in life can be much like the peaceful sleep under the moonlight? It may sound like an odd concept, but it’s thought-provoking once you delve into it.

A golden friendship can make you feel better about yourself, and it can give you the strength you need to make it through another day. However, a relationship that is toxic and dark can harm your mental health. Do you have relationships in your life that seem to be peaceful like a moon?

Here are some exciting parallels on how the moonlight is just like the peaceful & easy-going connections in your life.

It’s Stress Buster

Be it a good day or a bad day. The one thing that is constant in these things is the amount of stress your body soaks in daily. So, after a stressful day if you get a coffee under the moonlight that would work like a magic for you. Isn’t it?

The same thing is with relationships if you have the right person in your life. He/ She will surely act as a stress-buster for you.

It’s Peaceful

Who doesn’t want peace in their life? Suppose, it’s a time of winters & you are standing on your balcony under the moonlight. Is that not a peaceful scene?

Well, it is. So, to relax & to chill in such a peaceful scene is a dream of many. A good relationship will surely bring these positive vibes in your life that will make you smile no matter what.

It’s Analysing

Most of us often analyze our past mistakes in our bedtime. Well, that happens. So, your partner can act like a person that can help you have a reality check on yourself. Well when you are dating the right person, he/she can help you analyse your mistakes in a better way

It prepares you for the next day

Relationships are much like the moonlight because the good ones provide the motivation you need to survive in life. While you absorb positivity from the moon, a good friendship can give you things like an optimistic outlook, a confidant you can trust, and a haven in the times of life’s storm. Moreover, prepare you for the next day.

It’s next to you though it’s far away

Do you have friends that are close to your heart even though they are far away? The moon feels like it’s as close as your backyard, yet it’s more than 384,400 KM from earth.


While your friend isn’t that far away, it can seem like distance is an issue.

It doesn’t matter if one of you lives in Australia and the other in India; when you get together, not a moment has lapsed.

Thankfully, with technology and apps like Teams & Google Meet, you can easily stay connected and seem like your next-door regardless of the distance.

So, that is why your relationship should vibe like moonlight.

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How to get over from Heart Breaks?

Seeing someone you love, leaving you is painful. Isn’t it?

Surviving in this pain is much painful. If you are in such a situation. Then this blog is for you. Here we will share 6 prominent tips on, “How to come out of this pain?”

So, the first one for you is:

Feel your feelings

In the days after your breakup, we advise you to not keep your emotions inside yourself. Instead of that, explode out with the emotions in you. Probably your loss would gift you five things:

  • Anger
  • Denial
  • Bargaining
  • Depression
  • Acceptance

In such a situation, never question any of your emotions but try to experience each one of them & then come out as a different person.

P.S. A person who no longer care about past

Cut off communication with your ex

It is scientifically proven that heartbreak in real hurt so much. The release of “Oxytocin” in our body helps us to sense out the feeling of trust, care, concern with another person. So, in such a scenario if you talk to your ex your oxytocin level will increase and this will eventually let you not forget that particular person.

Find a support system

You have friends, Isn’t it?

You should call them at this moment in your life. They would be your biggest support at this moment of life. They would act as the best counselor you could have got in your life.

They will help you to get out of these fallacies with time as they would let you focus on other important things in your life.

Participate in any activity

Try to get yourself indulged in any activity that diverts your mind completely. The activity could be an old hobby that you thought to do someday. It could be, “You joining the gym”. It could be anything that makes you happy and raises your serotonin hormone. Because, in the end, it is all about, “How you let yourself indulge in something productive?”

Remember the reason

A relationship is all about the memories & moments you have with another person. Now, post-breakup what you have to do: You have to analyze all the negative aspects of your relationship which led you to the situation you are currently in. This would help you counterbalance all the obsessive thinking you will probably be experiencing just because of the hormonal imbalance in your body.

Nothing is permanent

Just like your relationship, this pain is also temporary. This too shall pass. You don’t have to lose faith in yourself & god. You have to just work in a way that can heal you super soon & let you not waste your time over the same thing for so long.

And, then when you recover. Try out, this super cool online dating platform: Spouslr that is awarded as “Best dating app for single Muslims”