Don’t Let Your Sneaky Behaviour Torpedo Your Relationship

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A number of my colleagues are always complaining about how single they are and how they are destined to die this way. But the thing that perplexes me the most is that they do have options/ suitors and yet they choose to stay single by pushing them away before anything can happen because unfortunately, no one is good enough for them and thus, they claim they are “forever single” type. I mean it’s okay to have high standards or be picky about the guy you date but being too picky or having standards as high as “Burj khalifa” doesn’t make any sense to me.

Actually, if you observe this whole situation you might realise it’s not really their fault indeed it is these Hollywood rom-coms that have given birth to unrealistic standards. For a matter of fact, even I had this crazy notion about love and finding my dream boy but luckily soon after the reality hit me and I realised reality doesn’t work as movies. However, It wasn’t until I became a part of Spouslr community that I realised how can I expect my other half to be perfect when I am not even perfect myself and trust me when I say Spouslr is the best online dating app for single Muslims. So if you are a Muslim and looking for your Mr./Ms. Right, Spouslr online dating platform will be your best friend in helping you find your “the one and only” plus it saves you from Rishta Aunties.

Anyway, I’ll give you a little cheat code to a happy life, cut yourself some slack because it might be your own expectation that is sabotaging your love life. Following are some of the ways to avoid the trap of self-sabotage, and to ultimately bring you closer to a happy and loving relationship you deserve.

View your Relationship as Partnership

Are you and your partner on the same team?

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You need to figure out how to collaborate with your partner, and how, even, to be vulnerable together. You need to stop thinking about yourself and what you’re gaining or losing in your relationship, and instead, you need to start thinking about what you have to offer. Adopting this attitude can make you more excited about the future you’re both building, rather than seeing your relationship as something that is happening to you beyond your control and likely to end in heartbreak.

Be Mindful of your Behaviour

Insecurities in a relationship are inevitable because everybody has issues to work on. However, It’s critical to know what your insecurities are. Awareness comes with behaviour. If you frequently pick fights with your partner or start blaming them instantly, awareness has been lost. Both people have a role in the conflict, so it’s important to be aware of how much of it is your fault.

Learn to Communicate

Being able to speak out your heart with your partner and listening to what they have to say is equally important in a relationship. Just a communication can help you overcome your differences and in fact, a good communication lets you embrace your differences together as a power couple. All relationships have its own limitations and a well-defined communication made upfront offers an understanding that we are dedicated to each other beyond the adversities that are bound to occur.

Self Care and Self Compassion

As most of us already know, without loving yourself first you cannot truly love another — at least not in the way that leads to healthy, loving relationships. Cultivating self-compassion is essential for those who struggle with low self-esteem, especially when this manifests in relationships. The only way to move closer to lasting and fulfilling love is by self-acceptance and healing from past hurts.

Love will never be easy, but without self-sabotage, it is a lot more reachable.

Simple Solutions for making your Married Life Beautiful

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Since its Spouslr’s first blog let’s start with a bit of introduction and then I’ll share a little cheat code to a happy married life for all our readers. Spouslr is an online dating app for all the single Muslims out there looking for love. It aims at bringing destined people together and contribute to the start of something beautiful through its online dating app for Muslims. Spouslr is originally a dating app based in London, UK however it is planning on expanding its reach to Muslims all around the Globe including Arab Countries.

Anyway, let’s get to the main topic of the Blog and that is “Simple Solutions for making your Married Life Beautiful”. Remember the first time you met your better half? Was it like one of those fairytale moments where everything in the background fades away and the only thing that exists is you and your partner? Or it was a friendship first and the romance eventually blossomed? 

Regardless of how it began nothing can really prepare you for marriage but a marriage. It may be the most difficult thing in your life or it may be the best thing in your life, I am guessing it was likely both and that is the beauty of marriage, it is designed that way. I believe marriage is not about being happy in fact it is about growing up together.

With this in mind here’s the 5 C’s to make your marriage beautiful and healthy, regardless of how it began.


Sharing similar interests, goals, dreams and having some sort of connection between the two is how you define chemistry. While this is not a necessity, it does provide a foundation for many things in marriage, such as travel, vacations, hobbies and other commitments both separately and together. If you didn’t have chemistry, the relationship will be short-lived – so those of you who think you have nothing in common with your spouse after many years of marriage, look again because it’s probably there.


Here’s the second secret in line for marriage, communication occurs all the time. In fact, you can not not communicate (I realize English majors may cringe at the double negative, but the point is important). Everything you say and don’t say communicates something. Everything you do or don’t do says something as well. Communication problems in marriage don’t occur because you can’t communicate, they happen because you don’t like the message! In order to master this area of marriage shift your focus to learning how to handle the message and know that listening is also an important part of the communication. Listening to what your partner has to say holds as much important as speaking your mind in front of them.


A key ingredient of any marriage is commitment. Without commitment, your marriage will surely fall apart. Incidentally, want to know the hack to a lasting marriage? Two people who choose to stay married. That’s it. Make the choice to stick out through the rough spots. If you believe your marriage isn’t worth fighting for maybe that’s because you haven’t fought for it, something’s only worth fighting for after you’ve fought for it.


Laughter really is good medicine. Humour is an outstanding reparative aspect for marriage, as well as a great connector. Having the ability to laugh with your spouse, whether this laughter is about something external or about yourself and your relationship.

Cycles of a Relationship

There are natural rhythms in every relationship. Did you realize that the most synchronous human relationship, between mother and infant, is only in synchrony 1/3rd of the time? Cut both of you some slack when things just seem “off” between you. Take the time and space to work on your contribution to the relationship rather than worrying about your partner’s contribution.

Spouslr online dating app When you increase your awareness of the “C’s” in marriage, you increase the potential of your relationship – both for you and your partner.